Is It Time to Change Coach? A Compassionate Perspective
- Kirsty Heap
Why ending a coaching relationship can be a sign of growth, not failure
Long-standing coaching relationships are a privilege.
When a client chooses to work with you over months or years, it speaks to trust, safety, and the depth of the work you are doing together. As a coach, there is something incredibly heartwarming about witnessing someone grow, evolve, and become more self-aware over time.
And yet, there can come a point in a coaching journey where the most supportive thing is not to hold on, but to gently let go.
This is not a failure of coaching. If anything, it can be one of the clearest signs that the coaching relationship has done exactly what it was meant to do.
Long-term coaching relationships are a privilege
Long-term coaching allows for deep trust to form. You learn how someone thinks, what shapes their decisions, where their confidence wobbles, and how their strengths show up.
Over time, clients often make big shifts:
new jobs, new relationships, new locations, new boundaries, new levels of self-belief.
Being alongside someone for those changes is a real honour.
But growth does not always move in a straight line. And sometimes, growth leads to a turning point.
When a coaching journey reaches a turning point
I often think of coaching journeys like travel.
Sometimes you reach a T-junction.
Sometimes you arrive at a roundabout.
And sometimes you realise the road you have been on has done its job, but the next part of the journey needs a different route.
That moment does not mean the original path was wrong. It means you have arrived somewhere new.
In coaching, this can look like a client realising they now need a different specialism, a fresh perspective, or a new kind of support to match who they are becoming.
The moment my client named their next step
Recently, a long-standing client raised the question of whether they should stay with me or explore working with another coach.
It came up naturally within a session. We explored it together, openly and honestly. I did not rush to reassure them or persuade them to stay. I wanted the conversation to be about them, not about my ego.
Internally, my first reaction surprised me.
I smiled.
Because what I actually felt first was pride.
Yes, there was sadness too. We had worked together for a long time. I had seen their growth, their courage, their shifts in self-belief. Letting go of a relationship like that always carries tenderness.
But overriding everything was a deep sense of respect for their self-awareness.
They went away, reflected, and later emailed me to say they had decided to move to a different coach.
And I felt genuinely proud of them for sending that email.
I know how much that would have taken.
Why supporting a client to move on is good coaching
It would have been very easy to get defensive in that moment.
It would have been very human to feel rejected, wobbly, or quietly bruised.
But this is where integrity and client-centred practice matter.
This client had gone through major life changes while working with me. Career shifts. Location changes. Relationship changes. A whole new chapter of life.
And with reflection, I could see something important.
I represented part of their past life.
Not in a bad way. In a meaningful way. In a “you have outgrown this season” way.
A new coach, with a different energy and different specialisms, could now support the next version of who they were becoming far better than I could.
Supporting that decision was not a loss.
It was a success.
What this teaches us about growth and endings
Clients come into our lives for seasons.
Just like friendships, work chapters, or personal phases, not every meaningful relationship is meant to last forever.
That does not make it a failure.
It makes it a chapter that did what it needed to do.
What mattered most to me was that my client chose themselves. They did not quietly drift away. They did not stay out of politeness. They had the courage to have a hard conversation and honour their own growth.
That is powerful.
And that is something we had worked on together.
A message for clients considering a change
If you are wondering whether it is time to change coach, please know this:
It is normal.
It is healthy.
And it does not make you disloyal, ungrateful, or unkind.
Most clients fear two things when thinking about changing coach:
- Letting their coach down
- Having an awkward or uncomfortable conversation
Especially for neurodivergent clients, there can also be a deep fear of rejection or upsetting someone.
But changing coach does not erase the value of what you have already done.
It honours it.
It says: “This work mattered. And now I am ready for the next stage.”
A good coach will not see that as a rejection. They will see it as growth.
A message for coaches holding a client lightly
As coaches, we have a responsibility to hold our clients lightly.
Not possessively.
Not fearfully.
Not through the lens of our own insecurities.
Our job is not to keep clients forever.
Our job is to help them become more self-aware, more empowered, and more capable of choosing what is right for them.
When a client outgrows you, it does not mean you failed.
It means you did your job well.
Sometimes the most ethical coaching moment is the one where you step back and say:
“I am proud of you. And I support your next chapter.”